Where Did The Lines Go!

beyonce-in-bikiniNo man, I had to wonder, “Where did all the lines go”? Hmm, is it that only the poorer people have stretch marks or what is it that allows celebrities to have that fab waistline, “glowy” breasts, beautiful legs and…you know…everything just as smooth and youthful as ever? I recently saw a picture of Beyonce posing on and trust mi, mi just grudge har enuh. Stretch marks seem like some terrible monster walking around, seeking poor people’s skin to lay on. Mi seh some of dem bad so till it look like a bundle of “whiss” on your skin.

Hahaha no, believe me, I tried every remedy I could to rid me of stretch marks while I was pregnant with my son. And really and truly, every person seem to have a cure, a prevention strategy. Granny seh, “use aloes” (old people seem to use aloes to cure every illness) – “Yuh sick? Use aloes”. The sister seh “nooo man, use olive oil” and yuh rub morning, noon and night, in the end the stretch marks get longer after the birth of the child. Then you have the Coco Butter Cream specialists “yes man, coco butter haffi prevent it, just start use it early” dwl, you know the outcome, cause some of you tried it. Then last but not the least, the treatment blenders “aloes alone won’t work, use aloes, egg and coco butter afterwards” or “You have to pour half bottle of olive oil in half bottle coco butter”…huh? But there is one significantly beautiful thing about Jamaicans…dem love mix up and blend.

I don’t see Yendi Phillips with any stretch marks, Beyonce was pregnant too, I don’t see none. Oh let’s look at the ones who delivered more than one babies in their lifetime like Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Garner. Lord deliver us from stretchmarks!   Is it a genetic thing? If it is, you may be asking why me?  Should I have done more? If it is, then what? Look at those skins we see on TV, where did the lines go? So now I have to consult Mr. Ewan Walker, celebrity makeup artist, cause I want to know what he does to make the lines go away or for a permanent fix, any of you know a Dermatologist contact number mek mi takkle dem fi give poor people the right remedy fi solve the problem? Some saying lazer surgery, but aren’t there any heath effects? Or better yet, let’s all go on fasting and prayer fi get a natural fix for these monstrous lines that affect our beauty…I’m just saying.


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